


Does This Darkness Have A Name?

by lannisterslioness



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dark Side Rey, F/M, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Related, Light Vs. Dark, Rey Solo, Seduction to the Dark Side, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 09:40:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6324235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lannisterslioness/pseuds/lannisterslioness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What if I just killed you then?” Rey asked. “What if I took all this so called power and drove a lightsaber straight through your black little heart.” </p><p>     Kylo Ren laughed, he simply laughed as he backed away from her, and though the mask showed nothing, Rey could tell he was wearing a sickly grin underneath the black metal. “You won’t kill me, I’ve made you what you are.” He gestured towards a corner of the room and for the first time, Rey noticed the limp and dead body of Luke Skywalker, when she fought against her restraints to escape, she noticed the blood on her hands.</p><p>***</p><p>Based off of a wonderful prompt I got from lighthousespectrum & wonderlandozdreams on tumblr!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: OK, so it was hard to pick another fic to start off of my list, but when I saw this one again I remembered all of it's awesome potential and here we are! I hope you guys will like it, I'm loving it so far. To answer a quick question: yes, I made Rey a Solo for this fic because I thought it would fit better and make things more interesting. I saw this fan art somewhere along the way that showed if Luke & Leia had gone dark side and it was just so awesome and inspiring, I couldn't help but make some actual dark side siblings. Oh, and if anyone out there reading this finds dark side Rey fan art, send it to me! I would love to get some inspiration for how Rey would look if she went full blown dark side!! ;)

_She  was in the chair again, she hated that chair more than anything else in the entire galaxy; she was strapped down to it, the restraints nearly cutting off her circulation as Rey fought against them. It was in the same dark room, the same cold interior that could only belong to the First Order, and the same dark figure was looming in front of her. Rey didn’t remember how long she had been here, it felt like ages, but Kylo Ren was relentless, and he refused to let her go until he got what he wanted._

 

_“You keep fighting it.” The mask altered his voice into something that should only belong to a monster, and despite seeing the man under the mask, Rey knew that was exactly what Kylo Ren was - a monster. “You’re holding it back.”_

 

_“I’m not going to be like you.” Rey spat._

 

_He was dragging her mind through nearly every dark corner of it, she barely had the strength to fight back and instead focused her energy on holding all of it back, the darkness, the fear, the anger. If she let it out, Kylo Ren would get exactly what he wanted, if she let the darkness control her for just one second, she was as good as gone._

 

_“You have so much darkness in you.” He said, leaning in close, and despite how close Kylo Ren got to her face, she could never see any hints of life behind the mask. “If you let it out I could teach you how to control it, how it can set you free. You have so much power in you, if you let go of those feeble Jedi rules, you could be stronger than anyone in the galaxy.”_

 

_“And why would you want someone stronger than you around?” Rey asked, it never made sense to her why he wanted her to join him._

 

_“Because you have the power to destroy the last of the Jedi, to eliminate the last bit of hope and light in the Resistance. With that gone, nothing can stand in the way of the First Order.” Kylo Ren insisted._

 

_“What if I just killed you then?” Rey asked. “What if I took all this so called power and drove a lightsaber straight through your black little heart.”_

 

_Kylo Ren laughed, he simply laughed as he backed away from her, and though the mask showed nothing, Rey could tell he was wearing a sickly grin underneath the black metal. “You won’t kill me, I’ve made you what you are.” He gestured towards a corner of the room and for the first time, Rey noticed the limp and dead body of Luke Skywalker, when she fought against her restraints to escape, she noticed the blood on her hands._

 

* * *

 

  


    The scream was enough to wake her from her nightmare, send her upright in bed, gasping for air and clutching her chest, kicking the sheets off of her as they were soaked with sweat. That was the third time this week she had a nightmare about Kylo Ren, and with each passing one they seemed more and more real, as if he were back in her head again. She didn’t tell Luke about these nightmares, she was afraid of what he might say, he might stop training her all together with such dark thoughts in her head. She took a moment to collect herself, to realize she was back in her room in the new Resistance base, she was safe here, she brought Luke Skywalker back, and Kylo Ren hadn’t been seen since the destruction of the Starkiller base. Rey got up out of bed, threw on a change of clothes, and pulled on her boots before grabbing her staff by the door and going for a walk around the base. She didn’t need the weapon, she knew there was no safer place in the galaxy, but after a nightmare like that, she felt comfortable with a way to defend herself in her hands.

 

    She went straight to the Falcon, it was the only place she felt comfortable after nightmares like those strangely enough, especially after Luke told her the truth of who her parents were. The lost Solo child, exiled to a life on a desert planet in order to protect her from her own brother, and never retrieved because the threat never vanished as they had hoped. Sometimes the Falcon made her angry, she was so close to her father and yet she didn’t know who he was until it was too late, she sat beside him in this ship, he offered her a job to travel the galaxy with him and Chewie, and then he was gone. There was still Leia, so broken over what they had done to protect her, and for a while after discovering the truth, Rey resented her for sending her away, but she was family, she was all she had left, and Rey couldn’t bring herself to keep that much hate and anger in her heart.

 

    Rey sat down in the pilot's seat, looking out the window into the dark night, the sun would be coming up soon, but until then she liked the comfort of the Falcon. She always tossed between the idea of sharing her nightmares or keeping them to herself, she thought about sharing them with Leia, but decided against it figuring that one child on the dark side was probably more than enough to deal with already. Rey considered telling Finn a few times, he’d been a stormtrooper, he’d seen Kylo Ren a few times though never face to face thankfully, she figured he would understand having nightmares of the First Order - but Finn was never targeted by Kylo Ren, he wasn’t a Jedi, he wasn’t strong with the Force, he was just a stormtrooper who wanted to do the right thing in the end. Then there was Poe, though she barely knew him before going to get Luke, she had grown close to him now, he had nightmares of Kylo Ren and was often up roaming the halls, they bonded over their experience, back when her nightmares were just repeats of what had happened instead of the beasts they had become. She still talked to him about them when she found him awake, leaving out the details of death and Kylo trying to drag her to the dark side, and he always gave her a shoulder to lean on until the sun rose. She liked Poe, and BB-8 seemed more than content with two of his favorite people in the galaxy becoming friends, but she was wary of telling him the truth as well, knowing that he might not understand the nature of her nightmares.

 

    Rey looked at the old picture she put in the dash of the Falcon, it was Han and Leia, sometime after the Battle of Endor and before Ben was born. They looked so happy and peaceful and in love, Rey wished she could have known them as her family before all of this, but she kept the picture as a memory, as something worth fighting for in hopes to finally find her own happiness one day instead of letting all this darkness sink into her heart. Rey held onto the hope that she wouldn’t end up by her brothers side, that she’d be able to stop him from continuing further down this dark path instead of falling into the darkness beside him.

 

* * *

 

  


    Poe woke up on his own, it was a rarity with the nightmares, and as soon as his eyes opened, he heard the familiar beeps of his droid companion coming out of sleep mode. Poe sat up, rubbing his eyes and letting out a yawn before grabbing a shirt off the edge of his bed.

 

    “Any visitors last night, buddy?” Poe asked curiously, sometimes Rey would stop by and knock to see if he was awake from the nightmares as well, if BB-8 answered the door she would know he was still asleep, but he always liked to check on her when he woke up.

 

    BB-8 let out a long sad beep, indicating that Rey hadn’t stopped by, and Poe almost always found it amusing how attached his little droid had gotten to her. Poe reached out and patted the droid’s head with a slight laugh, getting up out of bed and pulling on some pants, he knew if he didn’t go looking for Rey, BB-8 would find her all by himself and bring him to her.

 

    “Let’s go find her then, alright?” Poe asked BB-8 as he let out excited beeps and rolled right towards the door.

 

* * *

 

  


    If Rey wasn’t in her room, and wasn’t in the mess hall, she was always in the Falcon, and Poe wasn’t the least bit surprised to find her there, always finding something to work on inside of it if she couldn’t get any sleep and he wasn’t around to talk to.

 

    “What’s wrong with her this time?” Poe called down into the open hatch aboard the Falcon, Rey glanced up at him and gave him a slight smile while BB-8 chirped with joy upon finding her.

 

    “What isn’t wrong with her would be an easier question to answer.” Rey laughed. “She’s fine this time, just working on the lightspeed so it doesn’t crap out on me again. Care to help me get out of here?” Rey extended her hand up and Poe kneeled down to pull her out, Rey climbing the rest of the way before sitting on the floor beside BB-8. “Sleep good?”

 

    “Yeah.” Poe answered with a nod. “How long have you been up?”

 

    “...For a while.” Rey sighed. “It’s fine, just the same thing every time, I feel like it’s getting a little worse though.”  

 

    “Worse how?” Poe questioned.

 

    “They just...feel more real.” Rey shook her head. “It’s fine, I can handle them.”

 

    “You can wake me up if you want to talk, I’m not afraid of losing a few hours of sleep to help you out.” Poe assured her.

 

    “They’re just nightmares, if I can’t handle them by myself, how am I supposed to handle the real thing when he comes back?” Rey asked.

 

    “ _If_ he comes back, he could be dead for all we know.” Poe said.

 

    “He’s not.” Rey stated. “I can still feel his presence, he’s lingering in the Force, reaching out towards the darkness that’s still out there.”

 

    Poe never told Rey he could feel the Force sometimes, it was more than likely nothing compared to what she felt, but he could always feel the Force around him since he was a little boy. He knew Kylo Ren was still out there, it was like a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach that he’d feel stir every once in awhile to let him know he was still there.

 

    “It’ll be okay. If he’s still out there, he’s weak, the First Order will need time to recover from the Starkiller being destroyed. Kylo Ren can’t get to you, he doesn’t even know where we are anymore since we moved.” Poe reassured her, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

 

     Poe and Rey had grown close over the past few months together, they weren’t sleeping together or anything, but they kissed from time to time almost out of a comfort - though Poe didn’t want to admit that sometimes he felt some sort of electricity between them, a spark of something that could be real. But Rey was fragile right now, she wasn’t fit to be in any sort of committed thing and it had been years since Poe had been in a committed relationship; so they kept their bond to themselves, careful to only show more affection than a hug when they were on their own, but always there for each other no matter what.

 

    “I’ll be fine.” Rey stated again. “It’s just a dream.”

 

* * *

 

  


_She was back in the forest again, the same forest where she almost lost Finn so quickly after losing Han. Rey was fighting Kylo Ren with all her might, she wasn’t going to let him win, she was never going to let him win as long as she stood._

 

_“I can show you the ways of the Force, I can teach you!” He called out to her above the humming of their lightsabers colliding, the red and blue light giving off purple sparks the more they pushed against one another._

 

_“No!” Rey yelled out at the tops of her lungs, a surge of anger taking hold of her as she lunged out at him, pushing him away with all her might._

 

_Rey lunged forward again, using all her strength, all the anger surging through her body knowing he had just killed Han to drive her forward and end this fight. It ended quickly after, her lightsaber finding and opening and piercing right through his chest, just as he had done to Han - to their father. It was a feeling of vengeance for a quick moment, she felt as if she had just redeemed her father’s death, and though the look on her brother’s face pained her, she knew he would never return to the light. She watched him breath his last breath before she pulled the lightsaber from his chest, his red lightsaber hissing against the snow as it fell out of his lifeless hands, and in that moment she almost felt proud._

 

_“Well done, I told you your anger was a powerful weapon.” A familiar and monstrous voice spoke just a few feet behind her. She whirled around to see Kylo Ren, standing there as plain as day with his mask on._

 

_“How? I just - I killed you.” Rey stated as she looked back to the lifeless body still wearing Ben’s face._

 

_Kylo Ren raised his hand and the image of Ben shifted away until it revealed its true form, Rey didn’t kill Ben, she killed Luke Skywalker._

 

_“NO!” Rey hissed as she turned back towards Kylo and shoved him away with tears stinging her eyes. “No, I’m not like you!”_

 

_“But you are.” He insisted and grabbed her hand holding the lightsaber, revealing that instead of her blue one, it was replaced with a wild and hissing red blade, filled with as much anger and hate as Kylo Ren’s, but double bladed to resemble her staff and that of the long dead Sith Lord she heard whispers about, Darth Maul. “You are more like me than you think, sister. Don’t fight the darkness, embrace it.”_

 

* * *

 

  
  
    Rey woke up again with another scream, upright in bed and clutching her chest, it was like an endless nightmare loop all on it’s own. But this time it was different, she felt a cold metal against her chest and realized that she was holding her lightsaber, her hand was shaking from gripping onto it so tightly, and she felt a surge of anger as she looked at it. Rey tossed the lightsaber across the room, hearing it clang against the metal walls before falling to the floor. Kylo Ren was alive, he was getting in her head and bringing all this hate to the surface, he was winning, and being here on the base by Luke, it was only a matter of time before she actually tried to hurt him because of these nightmares. Rey knew she had to leave the base, she couldn’t risk killing the only Jedi left in the galaxy, she had to be as far away from him as possible, but sneaking away from her mother and the rebels that so desperately needed her, as well as leaving her friends behind, it would be a difficult task. But Rey knew that if she wanted to keep them all safe from herself and from the darkness Kylo Ren brought with him, she had to leave before she did something she would regret.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There is angst dead ahead. I wanted to give Poe & Rey some bonding, but also give Rey and even greater reason for wanting to leave, past just dreams but - well...you'll see in the chapter. :P

  The nights were sleepless anymore, Rey didn’t trust herself with her dreams; instead she’d occupy herself until she nodded off from exhaustion which usually led to a dreamless sleep. But Rey was barely able to keep up with everything, barely able to hold herself together, and more than a few people were beginning to take notice around the base - especially Poe. 

 

    “Hey, Rey.” Poe’s voice was gentle as he reached out and shook her shoulder, bringing her back to the waking world as she was nodding off during lunch. “Are you alright?” 

 

    “I’m fine.” Rey mumbled and went back to pushing her food around the tray, not hungry for much of anything. 

 

    “You’ve been saying that for the past two weeks while you’re walking around here like a zombie, what’s wrong?” Poe asked, he knew she wasn’t fine, she was the furthest thing from it in fact, and he wasn’t going to stop today until he finally got an answer from her. 

 

    “I…” Rey sighed and looked around the cafeteria, shifting uncomfortably before looking right at Poe again, his dark brown orbs burning into hers. “I don’t want to talk about it here.” 

 

    “Out on the Falcon?” Poe asked. 

 

    Rey glanced around the room again before giving a small nod and trying to take a bite of something so Poe couldn’t say that she didn’t eat. She managed a few more nibbles of something before deciding to toss the food and go out to the Falcon to get some of these nightmares off her chest. Poe followed her, BB-8 shortly behind them both, and the minute Rey stepped aboard the Falcon, her nerves began to kick in. 

 

    “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong now?” Poe asked. 

 

    “I’ve been having nightmares, they’re different from before. They’re not just... _ him _ on a torture loop. It’s like he’s inside my head now, showing me all these terrible things that I’ll do, that I’m going to turn to the darkside no matter what...that I’m going to kill Master Luke.” Rey felt as if the world had been lifted off her shoulders finally saying it all aloud, but the look on Poe’s face made her feel like a burden. 

 

    “Rey, god, why didn’t you tell me about this? Why haven’t you told anyone about this? If he’s getting inside of your head, Luke can help.” Poe reassured her, pulling her in for a tight hug and pressing a few kisses to the side of her face. 

 

    “Because I don’t know what will happen.” Rey protested as she pulled away from the embrace. “What if Luke thinks I have too much of the dark side in me too? What if I’m like  _ him _ ? What if...what if Kylo Ren is right.” Rey finally spoke what she feared the most, that she too would fall to the dark side just as her brother and grandfather had so long ago. There was great light in their family, that much was true, but there was also a great darkness that wished to ruin the galaxy, and what if this was the time the dark side would finally win? With siblings at each others side, the Resistance wouldn’t stand a chance to fight back. 

 

    “You are not like Kylo Ren, you’ve never hurt anyone just because you could, you’ve never killed anyone, you’ve never tortured anyone for information. You are the opposite of him. Luke made a choice too, remember the stories? He had to fight his own father, he resisted, it’s in your blood too.” Poe tried to tell her. 

 

    “But what if I’m not strong enough? What if I’m too much like him? I have all this anger that comes bubbling up in these nightmares Poe, you have no idea.” Rey let a few tears escape and tried to hold back the sobs. “I wake up and I just want to hurt something, I’m angry that I was left on Jakku, I’m angry that my family thought it was best for me to just disappear, I’m angry that my brother spent more time looking for me than they did! If he had found me...if he had told me back then Poe...I’m afraid I would have joined him.” 

 

    She hated the way Poe looked at her now, like she was this fragile little doll slowly cracking and coming apart. Rey wanted to be strong, she wanted to keep her walls around her, but Kylo Ren had worn her down, and she was just so tired of hiding all this pain she felt, she was tired of nearly everything. BB-8 let out his low and sad beeps, rolling up to Rey’s side and resting his small head against her, trying to give her some comfort. 

 

    “Rey...you need to tell Luke all of this. You can’t keep holding this in, it’s going to tear you apart.” Poe approached her again, slowly taking her hands into his and this time Rey didn’t make a move to pull away. “I hate to see you in so much pain like this, I want to help, but Luke is the only one who can really help you right now.” 

 

    “I know, I know.” Rey breathed out, her voice shaky while she tried to take another deep breath and regain her control. “Will you go there with me to talk to him?” 

 

    “Of course.” Poe nodded and gave her a small smile of assurance

 

* * *

  
  


    Rey told Luke everything, from the nature of the nightmares, to how she woke up with the lightsaber in her hands and so much anger running through her veins. He listened, nodding his head as he did so, and once Rey has said everything, Poe listening in as well, Luke let out a sigh before looking directly at her. 

 

    “Well, I wish you had told me earlier.” Luke said. “But we can work on it, we can try to break whatever hold Kylo Ren has on your mind so he can no longer invade your thoughts so easily. It will be difficult, and painful, but it has to be done. And once you’re free from his hold you have to maintain it, you let your guard down for one moment and Kylo Ren will be back in your mind.” 

 

    “But I can get him out of my head?” Rey asked hopefully. 

 

    “You can.” Luke assured her. “If you want, we can start now, but I don’t think Commander Dameron will want to be here for this...you’ll be in a lot of pain.” 

 

    Rey looked over to Poe and gave him a small nod, and while he hesitated to leave, he finally left with his little droid in tow.

 

* * *

 

  
  


    Rey was in pain, every bone and muscle in her body was aching and throbbing in pain. Rey slept in Poe’s room that night, he insisted on it since she told him all about her nightmares, he wanted to watch her and make sure she was alright. He held her close, and no matter how nice it felt to be curled up next to a warm body, Rey couldn’t sleep - afraid that her training with Luke today would fail. But as her eyes slowly closed in the middle of the night, she just hoped for the best as everything went dark. 

 

* * *

  
  


_ Rey found herself on a cold and rainy planet, everything was dark and she was frozen to her core. But there was no deception in this dream, she saw Kylo Ren standing not far from her, his arms crossed as he watched her. In her hands was the same blazing red double bladed lightsaber from one of her other nightmares, and she was dressed head to toe in black - exactly like a sith lord would be. Across from her was Luke, wielding his glowing blue lightsaber and ready to face her.  _

 

_     Without a word he lunged at her and Rey had no choice but to fight him in order to stay alive. The two clashed, their blades humming and sparking in detest of the colliding energy, but they fought on. The dream was short, it ended with Rey piecing Luke through the chest and a sick sense of satisfaction running through her veins.  _

 

_     “Rey, Rey, stop!” Luke called out, grabbing her arms and shaking her.  _

 

* * *

  
  


    Rey woke up wide eyed and horrified, she was on top of Poe, her lightsaber lit and in her hands, inches away from his neck. She turned off the saber and tossed it so hard across the room she was sure it left a dent in the metal walls. Rey was shaking as the sobs took over, her hands covering her mouth as she climbed off of Poe and curled up into a ball on his bed, letting herself cry. She almost killed Poe, and she was sure that dream wasn’t caused by Kylo, he didn’t have a grand presence as he usually did in other nightmare, this was all her own imagination, and she almost killed one of the only people she had on the base that had never lied to her or betrayed her. 

 

    “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Rey mumbled between sobs as Poe took her into his arms without question and held her close to his chest. 

 

    “Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay.” Poe whispered, holding her and rocking her in his arms. 

 

    “It’s not!” Rey cried out. “I could have killed you, that wasn’t him! That was me. I almost killed you.” 

 

    “But you didn’t I’m still alive.” Poe reassured her of that, and pressed a kiss to her forehead. 

 

    “I don’t want that thing anymore.” Rey pointed to the lightsaber. “I don’t want any of this.” 

 

    Poe stayed silent, holding her in his arms the rest of the night, staying up with her and keeping her awake at her request. 

 

* * *

  
  


    The next day, Rey left her lightsaber in the building where he trained her, her silent way of bowing out. She packed up the Falcon when no one was looking, especially Poe and BB-8, trying to resume her day as normally as she could all while avoiding Luke and Leia as well. When the sun set, she found Chewie and asked him to help her out on the Falcon. 

 

    “I need to leave.” Rey told him as soon as they were aboard. “I need your help Chewie, I need to go somewhere - anywhere - away from here and away from where anyone could find me, especially Kylo Ren.” 

 

    Chewie made a few groans and protested, as she expected, but Rey knew he would understand after all he’s been through. 

 

    “Kylo is in my head, he wants me to kill Luke, I almost killed Poe, I can’t sleep or eat or do anything. I’m so consumed with guilt and terrified. I can’t stay here Chewie. If I do...I don’t know what will happen.” Rey explained. “I’ve got everything packed, I need to go before anyone tries to stop me. I can’t be helped, I just need to get away from all of this.” 

 

    Chewie gave a few more protesting words before giving in and heading towards the cockpit, claiming that he knew of a place where Rey could hide, a place he heard of that she didn’t know of, but knew other would check to find her and hopefully bring them home. 

 

* * *

  
  


    When Poe entered his room that night, he half expected to see Rey lying there exhausted, instead he found a note on one of the pillows with his name on it in Rey’s handwriting. 

 

_ ‘Poe,  _

 

_     I’m so sorry. I can’t stay any longer, if I do...I’m afraid of what will happen to not only Luke and Leia, but especially you. I can’t stand the thought, knowing that I almost killed you, that I even tried to hurt you, it’s tearing me apart. Tell Luke and Leia that I’m sorry, tell BB-8 that I’ll miss him terribly, and you...I think I’ll miss you the most Poe; you are probably the only person in the galaxy that I ever got this close to, that I could almost say I loved. I’m sorry, but please don’t come looking for me.  _

 

_     -Rey’ _

 

    Poe dropped the note on his bed and ran out the door, looking for any signs of Rey’s later to have been a lie, or that she was still on the base. But as soon as he saw the empty space where the Falcon had been, along with other members of the base surrounding it, he knew it was too late. Leia looked broken, as if her heart had been torn out of her chest; Luke was holding what used to be Rey’s lightsaber and looked as if the last hope had just vanished, and with Rey gone, it had. 

 

    “Did she tell anyone where she was going?” Poe asked in a panic. 

 

    “No one.” Leia mumbled. “She left us notes, she didn’t say where she was going, and no one has seen Chewie so we think that she took him with her.” 

 

    “We have to find her before Kylo Ren gets to her, if he finds out she left because of him, he’ll take advantage of that.” Poe explained. He wanted to launch search parties, he wanted to scour every inch of the galaxy to find her and hold her again because he was sure he was falling for her too, and he didn’t want to lose that as quickly as it came. 

 

    “We have no idea where she went, sending people out would risk us to be exposed...we have to wait.” Luke sighed. “Chewie knows how to send messages to us, even without a droid, he can contact R2-D2 without a problem. If he senses that Rey is in danger he’ll let us know where they are, until then, we just have to wait.” 

  
    Poe knew Luke was right, they couldn’t launch a search party with the threat of Kylo Ren out there still, there was still power in the Order and right now all the Resistance had was the power of hiding. Rey was gone, and there was nothing he could do other than wait for Chewbacca to send them a distress signal and hope they could get to them in time. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Just so you guys know, Rey is a fighter, she will always be a fighter, that's just who she is, and she's going to fight off the darkness for as long as she can. So this fic is sort of shifting to can Rey hold the darkness at bay long enough for her loved ones to reach her? I hope you guys enjoy ;)

    Two months had passed and no one heard a word from Rey or Chewbacca. No one tried to show their worry, but Poe could read people, and he could see the worry setting in on just about everyone. Leia was a wreck, though she kept her General facade and kept things up and running, in her downtime Poe would catch her just sitting and staring off into space, thinking about all that’s happened, sometimes she even held an old family holo that pictured her, Han, Ben, and a little bundle in her arms that was Rey. Luke became a recluse, even more so than he had before, only being seen early mornings up on the hill meditating, or brief glimpses of him as he’d visit his sister; whispers of Luke leaving again started going through the base as well, and from the few times Poe saw him, he believed those whispers to be true as well. Finn wasn’t his cheerful self either, he’d muster up a smile, BB-8 would get an occasional laugh out of him, but Finn was just a shell of his usual self too. 

 

    Poe couldn’t sleep anymore, he could barely get himself to eat to keep going, he kept thinking of just getting in his X-Wing and visiting every planet in the galaxy if he had to just to find Rey and bring her back to the base. But he couldn’t just leave the Resistance, they needed him just as badly as they needed everyone else they had left, the Order was still out there - looming - and waiting for the perfect moment to strike. One late night, sitting awake in his room, re-reading Rey’s letter for the thousandth time, he felt like he was going to his his breaking point, and in an attempt to cheer him up, BB-8 played a holo of Rey he had recorded. It must have been recent since she wasn’t wearing her Jakku attire, and it was one of the times she actually had her hair down instead of in the traditional three buns; she had been talking directly to BB-8 since in the holo he was looking right at her, and BB-8’s responses were recorded to her voice as well. 

 

_ ‘My favorite place in the galaxy? Well, that’s not a fair question, I haven’t seen the whole galaxy.’ Rey laughed, her smile contagious and causing Poe to smile with her.  _

 

_     [Your favorite place that you have seen so far, Friend-Rey.] BB-8 had clarified in the holo, causing Rey to smile.  _

 

_     ‘Takodana was beautiful, everything was so green, and there was so much water just lying there! And Maz’s place, I’d never seen anything like it.’ Rey explained. _

 

    Poe sat up straighter for a moment, thinking about where Rey could have gone. She wouldn’t have gone back to Jakku, she brought all her things from her old home to the base and then took them with her as she left. Rey wanted to go where no one would think to look for her, especially Kylo Ren, Jakku would be the first place to check and see if she returned home, and Chewie would have wanted to take Rey somewhere safe. Chewie knew Takodana, he trusted Maz who had more than likely re-built by now after the attack from the Order. Rey would go there without question, and while Kylo Ren had been to the planet before, if he was still too weak, Rey would still have time to hide there. 

 

    Poe scrambled out of bed, pulling on a shirt and pair of pants before grabbing his flight suit, BB-8 ending the holo and looking up to his owner questioningly. 

 

_ [Friend-Poe! Where are we going?] _ BB-8 made sure to include himself, he liked Rey as much as he had liked Poe and missed her as much as a droid as loyal as BB-8 could; if Poe was going to find Rey, BB-8 would come with him no matter what, even defy orders to do so. 

 

    “We’re getting Rey buddy, I think I know where she went.” Poe felt a surge of happiness for the first time, it wasn’t certain that Rey would be there, he can’t believe nobody thought to look there yet, but Maz and Chewie would keep Rey safe, she’d feel safe on Takodana, she  _ had _ to be there. 

 

    He practically ran out to the tarmac, his fellow pilots giving him curious glances, wondering if some alert went out that they hadn’t heard. The General was out there was well, excusing herself from talking to one of the other pilots before rushing over to Poe. 

 

    “Dameron, where in the world are you going?” Leia practically demanded, a look of concern on her face. 

 

    “I’m going to find Rey.” Poe answered, paying more attention to the checks he was running on his X-Wing than the General herself. 

 

    “You know where she is?” Leia asked, hopeful for a positive answer. 

 

    “No but, I have an idea. I’m just checking Takodana; she was there before with Chewie, and she met Maz, she would trust her and she’d want to be somewhere she felt safe. If she’s not there I swear I will come back but...I’m tired of sitting and waiting for something to come up, I need to find her.” Poe sighed, it was pulling at his heart strings in the worst way, he  _ needed _ to find Rey like he needed air to breathe. She was all he thought about anymore, all anyone thought about on the base, but not in the way he had. Poe needed Rey back, he needed her smile, her laugh, the brightness she brought into his life, he wanted that back and he wouldn’t rest until he found her - Kylo Ren be damned. 

 

    Leia wanted to hesitate and tell him the Resistance needed him there, and Poe knew better than anyone that the Resistance needed him; but there was also a look of understanding in her eyes. She wanted her daughter back just as badly as Poe wanted Rey back and by his side, he wanted to wrap her up in his arms and never let her leave again. 

 

    “Fine. Send a message if you find her or when you’re heading back.” Leia sighed. “Just...if you find her tell her…” 

 

    “How about you tell her when I bring her back, I’m sure what you want to say will mean a lot more coming from you.” Poe said, offering Leia a kind smile. 

 

    Leia nodded while BB-8 got boarded up onto the X-Wing. “Be safe out there.” 

 

    “Always am.” Poe smirked. 

 

* * *

  
  


    Rey adjusted to life on Takodana, it was different than Jakku and certainly different from the base on D’Qar, but she adjusted nonetheless. It helped that she had Chewie at her side, and Maz as well after some creative story she concocted saying she was on the planet for a mission; though Rey was almost certain she didn’t believe that story by now and just kept playing along out of kindness. She was sure someone would find her eventually, either Maz or Chewie would signal the Resistance and let them know she was here, and she was almost ready to go back - almost. Rey still had nightmares of Kylo Ren, but they were only once every other week now and of the same reoccurring scene of when he held her captive on his ship; no more dreams of killing Luke or wielding a red lightsaber in her hands. But Rey wanted one more month, just a little more peace and quiet, some time for her mind to calm to the point where she could control it. Rey did her usual nightly inspection of the Falcon before heading to bed in one of the cots, unable to fall asleep anywhere else except for on the ship. Chewie was running checks of his own from his co-pilot seat when Rey drifted off to sleep. 

 

    Tonight her dream was in fragments, flashes of Kylo in his mask hovering so close to her face, hearing nothing but screams ringing in her ears, glimpses of her hands covered in blood, and everyone she grew to care about, lying dead in massive heaps of corpses. Rey woke up on a cold sweat, trying to process everything she saw in those flashes in her mind, she hadn’t had anything like that happen to her since the day she picked up Luke’s lightsaber. She pulled herself out of bed, noticing that Chewie still wasn’t in his bunk and causing a smirk to cross her face, he was probably spending time with Maz in her cantina, the big fuzzball never wanted to admit that he had a soft spot for her. Rey tied her hair back up, getting it off of her neck to help her cool down, and grabbing her blaster and holstering it  at her side, she decided to go for a walk. 

 

    She would have gotten farther if it weren’t for the sudden clanging she heard coming from the cockpit. 

 

    “Chewie, is that you?” Rey asked tentatively. 

 

    No response. 

 

    “Chewie?” Rey questioned again. 

 

    Nothing. 

 

    Rey slowly moved forward, her blaster out and the safety off now as she held it in front of her and ready to fire. There was a dark figure standing in the cockpit of the Falcon, hunched over and grasping onto the chairs with all their might; the figure made her blood run cold as soon as she sensed who it was. She had her finger on the trigger when she felt her whole body tense - an all too familiar and scary feeling that told her she was no longer in control. 

 

    “I’ve been searching for you for a long time, Rey.” His voice was cold and distorted, exactly as she remembered when he had the beastly mask on. “You’ve been resisting me quite well out here, but did you really think that would stop me?” 

 

    “Leave me alone.” Rey snarled through her clenched teeth, she wanted to reach out and punch him or blast him away into the sky, but he made her powerless, and she hated that feeling more than anything else. “I’m not like you.” 

 

    “No?” Kylo pressed, his tone curious and almost amused. “Then how am I able to enter your mind so easily? Surely it was one of the first things Luke taught you, and you seemed quite capable when we first met - but I suppose that was before you knew - before the truth made you weak.” He laughed. “Our parents tend to make us weak, but it’s up to us to be stronger than they ever were.” 

 

    “You killed our father before I ever knew who he was!” Rey lashed out, hot and angry tears stinging her eyes. 

 

    “He would have made you just as weak as I was, weaker than you are now. He was terrified of us when we were just children, did you know that?” Kylo asked. 

 

    “Shut up!” Rey hissed. 

 

    She felt the pain in her head again, the one that felt like her skull was being torn apart as Kylo forced his way in so easily, seeing everything she held near and dear and powerless to fight back. 

 

    “You have so much anger in you, so much hatred.” He said as he approached her inch by inch, Rey unable to walk away. “You could have so much power if you knew how to focus it, sister.” 

 

    “I don’t want it, I don’t want any of it.” Rey spat. 

 

    She was choking now, feeling Kylo’s cold and gloved hand wrap around her neck and physically choke her. 

 

    “I know what you want, you want that pilot, you want to be a normal girl and live a normal life with that Resistance pilot, what was his name again? Poe Dameron?” Kylo questioned, he knew exactly who Poe was, him flooding her mind with images of Poe being tortured, all the pain he felt, how he tried so hard to resist and failed only when he was on the brink of death. “He had a particularly strong will, but he broke just as all the others did, just as you will.” 

 

    “I won’t be a monster like you.” Rey choked out. 

 

    Kylo let go of her throat as she gasped for air, still frozen in place by his hold. 

 

    “He’s coming for you, I have pilots out around the system that have spotted his X-Wing and droid. He’s coming to be the hero and rescue you from yourself.” Kylo laughed. “Unless you want to watch his X-Wing go up in flames as it crashes to the surface, you’ll come with me - willingly - and once you let the darkness in, you’ll never want to let go. You won’t even remember him until you’re standing over his dead body. We could also kill the Wookie as well, he’s sitting in the bar gambling, enjoying a few drinks, mourning but still happy; he’s lived through so much, it would be a shame for him to die because of a foolish girl’s choice.” 

 

    Rey felt Kylo’s power leave her body, and all desire to blast him out the window had vanished - he had her. He had killers watching Chewie and watching Poe fly in to bring her home, she figured out of all the people at the base that he would be the one to figure out where she went first. And now Kylo was threatening his life, and after seeing all the pain he endured, the last thing Rey wanted was for Poe to die in vain. 

 

    “If I go with you...Chewie and Poe live.” Rey stated. 

 

    “I can promise you that they will live - today at least. When they come to fight us, I cannot promise that.” Kylo said, at least being truthful with his promise. 

 

    “...Fine. Just let them live.” Rey dropped her blaster to the floor, Kylo had done it, he had won, and who knew what he planned to do to her now. “I’ll go with you, do whatever you want to me but leave them out of this.” 

 

    The last thing Rey remembered was Kylo raising his hand and falling to the cold hard ground of the Falcon. She didn’t know how much time had past when she woke in this large space, a hologram of a creature like man staring down at her with a grin, and her brother without his helmet and horrible scar revealed, kneeling beside her and staring up at the holo. 

 

     “Well, well, where do we begin with you? So much power and potential boiling under the surface.” The man laughed. “How about we begin with a bit of pain, shall we?” 

  
    Before Rey could answer, blinding pain was surging through every inch of her body, and all her brother did was sit and watch as she writhed in pain, never saying a word. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is another chapter I've had done for a while and the next chapter was giving me some trouble which is why I haven't posted this one until now. I think I still wanna tweak a few things in chapter five, but I figured I would post this one in the mean time, I hope you guys enjoy it :3

    Poe had arrived too late, he knew it from the moment he recognized First Order ships leaving the surface of the planet. Rey had been here for two months, no one smart enough to piece it together, and now she was gone again. Poe found the Falcon easy enough and searched it just to ease his mind, when he saw Rey’s blaster on the floor he knew she had been taken without a doubt, his heart sinking knowing that if he'd just found her a bit sooner, she would be heading back to the base with him and not be taken who knows where. When Chewie boarded the ship and realized that Rey was gone as well, he let out a sad howl of sorts that Poe could barely understand, but the pain in that howl he knew all too well. 

 

    There wasn't anything to be done anymore; Chewie was flying back to the base in the Falcon with Poe tailing him, and with no idea where in the galaxy Rey had been taken, they were helpless yet again. The hurt written on Leia and Luke's faces when Poe told them he was too late to bring her home nearly broke his heart all over again. Bringing Rey back was the first mission he had ever failed, and while Leia promised they would find her again, and Luke told him that the Force would lead Poe back to Rey, Poe was heartbroken. He was so close, he literally watched her slip right out of his grasp as the First Order ships left the planet's surface, and all he could do was watch them fly away. 

 

    “We'll find her again.” Leia stated, trying to remain strong though her eyes told Poe a different story. “As long as I can feel her alive out there through the Force, we have a chance to bring her back. We will find her again, I know it.” The last part of her statement sounding more like a reassurance for herself. 

 

    Poe wanted to believe that in the worst way, but all he felt was pain instead of hope; he let the Resistance down, he let Leia and Luke down, but most of all he let Rey down. Poe hadn't shed many tears in his life; he cried for his mother when she passed, he cried the first time he lost a friend while he was still part of the Republic, he even cried the first time BB-8 took heavy damage and he thought his droid companion would never be the same. And now, back in his quarters and collapsing onto his bed, he let himself cry again, this time for being too late to save the one person in the galaxy he was sure he had fallen for, and now they were back to just waiting - praying - for any sign of Rey to show up again. 

 

* * *

 

**6 Months Later**

 

    Rey’s homemade doll from Jakku sat on Poe’s nightstand now, and every morning when he woke to see it, he remembered Rey telling him of how she always dreamed a pilot would save her when she was a little girl and take her back to her family. It was all that was left of Rey at the base, other than her clothes that Poe kept in his drawers, folded perfectly neat for the day she should return, and the holos that BB-8 had stored of her in his memory banks. Poe tried to return back to his old self, and for many of the pilots under his command, he may have appeared to be slowly returning to the Poe Dameron they knew; though he could never fool Luke and Leia, sensing just how broken he still was underneath the smile he put on for the base. He'd carry small tokens of Rey with him sometimes, such as a little drawing she'd doodled quickly and give them to Poe as her own little sign of that she accepted him back when they first became friends, or sometimes he'd pick some wildflowers around the base and put them on the Falcon since Rey couldn't get enough of the beautiful flowers that grew all around them. He'd spend most of his free time aboard the Falcon with Chewie, helping him with whatever repairs the aging freighter needed. In fact, that was where he was when he heard all the commotion break out on the tarmac, both him and Chewie leaving the ship to see Luke and Leia arguing while it looked like Luke was getting ready to fly off somewhere. 

 

    “No!” Leia shouted to her brother as Poe and Chewie approached. “I've already lost three people I care about to the Order, one of them gone for good, I'm not going to add your name to that list Luke.” 

 

    “General, what's going on?” Poe asked, hoping to find a way to end the bickering between the two. 

 

    “What's going on is that my laser brained brother thinks he's going to fly off into the most dangerous parts of the galaxy and draw attention to himself to get the First Order to show themselves to find Rey. All its going to do is get him killed.” Leia snapped, Luke seemingly unaffected by her words. 

 

    “They've had her for six months, who knows what they've done to her by now Leia, they're not going to show themselves willingly, Ben wants me, he'll come out of hiding for that.” Luke stated. 

 

    “You think I haven't thought of this already? Do you know how many times I've wanted to just fly out there and bring my children back?” Leia asked, Poe seeing the pain in her eyes again, the General was so tough most of the time, it was hard to see her in so much pain. “I miss Ben and Rey more than anything, and I'd give anything to have them back, but you can't just fly off into nowhere and hope for the best. You are a Jedi, yes, but you are also the  _ last _ Jedi. We can't lose you too, Luke. The Resistance needs you.” 

 

    “They need me too, Leia. I've let both of them down, I've lost both of them to the dark side, I know you can feel it too that Rey’s heart has changed; Snoke has taken too many family members from us, I won't just sit around and let him win, not anymore.” Luke argued. 

 

    “I'll go.” Poe offered now. 

 

    “Poe, you can't.” Leia sighed. 

 

    “I'm just a pilot, General. We've gotten plenty of new pilots in the past six months, Jessika can take care of things while I'm gone, I trust her. But like you said Luke is the last Jedi, the galaxy can't lose that, it can carry on another day of it loses a pilot. I'll draw the First Order out, I can get their attention, and if nothing else maybe the tracker on my ship can give you a starting place to look if I die. I...I need to find her, I let her down already and I'm not going to do that again.” Poe pleaded his case. 

 

    All was silent between the three of them until Luke reached for his belt and handed the familiar weapon over to Poe. 

 

    “Take this with you then.” Luke sighed. “Ben wants that lightsaber dearly, if anything will draw him out with you out there, it will be that you have what he thinks belongs to him.” 

 

    “Poe, I...I can't ask you to do this.” Leia said. “It's too dangerous.” 

 

    “There's no need to ask General, I've already decided.” Poe assured her. 

 

    “May the Force be with you.” Luke said, and that was all the assurance Poe needed to hear. 

 

    He was going to find Rey no matter what it would take, and if he died in the process, so be it. 

 

* * *

  
  


    Every part of Rey hurt, from her head to her muscles and bones, everything was screaming with pain, but none of that pain could compare to the pain she held in her heart. She’d been beaten, tortured, and broken down until she used the Force to hurt someone, then and only then was she given her new lightsaber - a doubled bladed weapon that resembled the staff she used the carry on Jakku that had hissing red blades that matched her brothers. It felt foreign in her hand at first, she wanted to toss it across the room and reject it, but the minute she thought of something like that the pain would rush to her, all the torture she endured was to get to this point where they gave her a sliver of freedom, not to go backwards and be locked away into a dark chamber, left with nothing but nightmares and torture. Kylo wanted to take over her training from there, and Snoke let him, teaching her combat and taking any opening she left to use against her as an example with more pain, Rey knew he was doing it to bring more of her anger and hatred out, he wanted her to be just like him, but every time she held back she felt like she was spiting him, and that at least there was something she could do to rebel against him. 

 

    “I can feel you holding back.” He snapped at her one day while they were in their training room, their lightsabers in hand and fresh scars stinging both of them from each other's blades. “Are you still trying to hold on to whatever shred of light is left in you? It’s making you weak.” 

 

    “I’m not holding back.” Rey lied, Kylo always could tell with her, and sometimes she did let herself get lost in the hatred just to please him, but other times she wanted to rebel, and with her being surrounded by the enemy, holding on to hope was the only way she could. 

 

    “Then prove it.” Kylo hissed before he lashed out at Rey, a cry of pain escaping her lips as the very edge of his lightsaber grazed her shoulder, leaving a new scar from her time trapped here with him. 

 

    Rey felt the anger in her brim up, and she lashed out at her brother the same way he lashed at her, she put all her force and rage behind every blow and he blocked it every time. He found out early on in her time here what her weakness was during her hours of torture that was supposed to make her ‘stronger’ - Poe was her weakness. Everytime he fed her the memories of when he tortured Poe to the point of breaking, she broke as well, and whenever they were locked in combat together, Kylo would place those images in her mind again, Poe’s screams echoing in her mind and causing her to become sloppy in battle. She just wanted his pain to stop, she felt the instinct to run away and try to find Poe though she knew he wasn’t there with her, Kylo made her relive every second of his pain and she just wanted it to end. Finally their own battle ended when Kylo’s lightsaber tore through her abdomen and left a painful scar that caused Rey to double over in pain, this scar deeper and more painful than any of the others he had inflicted on her. Rey fell to the floor, clawing at the burned wound, but refusing to let Kylo see he’d inflicted any pain on her, refusing to cry and refusing to break. 

 

    “That pilot is your weakness. You can’t have any or it will be used against you.” He stated coldly. “I destroyed my weakness, and sooner or later you will have to destroy yours. One day you’ll be face to face with that pilot and you’ll have to destroy him before he’s used against you by someone.” 

 

   “By someone do you mean you?” Rey asked harshly, trying to sit up but only causing her new wound to hurt more. 

 

    “By anyone.” Kylo gave her a small smirk and knelt down beside her, sometimes she found it hard to believe that someone like him shared the same blood as her, he was so different, and he was trying to make her the same as him. “I’ll send a med bay droid in here to take a look at that, it seems serious.” He rose to his feet again and walked out the doors, leaving her there on the cold floor racked with pain. 

  
    He could torture her all he wanted, but Rey would always refuse to hurt Poe, no matter what Kylo would throw at her, she would never let anything happen to Poe, not again. And if that meant she had to endure all of the pain inflicted on her here by these vile people, than she’d take every ounce of pain they threw her way. 


End file.
